The Beginning of the End

For the first time I’m starting to look towards the end of poker. I’m sure every poker player that frequents this blog will either have thought of quitting or had to suffer their friends threatening to quit during nasty downswings. I suppose the way I know this is for real is that it’s coming in the middle of a decent winning run. At 21 I feel I have to make a life choice soon, decide to play poker for ever or start to look at college applications (as I’m qualified for absolutely nothing right now).

Although poker can be a fun way to earn a decent living, I can’t consider it a future. I still have a desire to be the best player I possibly can but I find myself depressed way too often. Depressed that I’m essentially nocturnal, depressed that I never get to see the people that I love (or meet new ones), and certainly depressed that I can’t handle the insane monetary swings as well as I would like.

I had been loosely planning to go to uni next September, and have been completing my application in the last few weeks, but I’ve firmly decided that I won’t play poker in the time I’m at there. If four years down the line I decide I want to play again for a living then so be it.

My plan is to grind hard online until the end March, earning 10k VPPs per month, which should be enough to make supernova and the $4k Bonus with the FPPs I already have as well as hopefully $20k+ in expectation (which as I’ve hopefully explained in my blog over the past 2 years is not a sure thing). After March I’ll find something to do for a few months (probably travelling) and then likely do Vegas, festivals and more travelling in the summer before hopefully going off to a uni in September 2011. Obviously this could all be scuppered if nowhere accepts me (a possibility looking at the current situation), but if that’s the case I’ll have to reassess my plans.
With that said, my plan in the next five months is to stick to only online poker, as live poker is both a colossal waste of time and energy and is part of the reason my sleeping pattern is so messed up (and I’m sure partly contributing to my increased mood swings). I’ll try to spend my extra time in this time doing productive things, be it exercising, learning or simply having fun with my friends.

I’m sorry I’ve been a bit of an awful blogger, but I am truly thankful that so many people take the time to read it give me feedback or encouragement. I hope you’ll all see that this isn’t meant in a moaning nature, but an excited one; in fact I’m getting quite excited at the thought of life after poker having just written it down.