I think I made one fatal error in my last blog post about how I'm going to be an amazing SNG and MTT grinder this year. I failed to take into account that the very reason I am who I am is because I am in the front running for the laziest man in the world competition. At about the 2 week mark I've played about 5 days, although to be fair I've put in a lot of volume those days and am sitting at about 5500 VPP (which is on pace with my targets). I think of up somewhere in the region of $2k, although it's hard to break down properly at the moment because I played some cash game and MTT sessions to help mix it up.
Speaking of cash sessions I just returned from a nightmare of a cash session live, dropped £2k at £1/3 9max. I'm actually fairly mad at myself for how badly I played, it wasn't so much that I was tilting out of my mind (which I used to do and learned to either remedy it or quit the game), but because I was at a table of droolers I thought I'd be the durrrr-esq big man, playing every hand, finding 3bet and river raises that really didn't merit it, and got myself into some really stupid spots. I suppose I've got to learn that the only way you can beat 9max holdem is by playing somewhere close to 10/8; which is obviously really boring.
The flip side is that after the game broke, 6 of us played the most epic game of Legs I've ever been a part of. We had a £1 running ante and the biggest game ended with a £78 pot. It really cheered my spirits up despite being stuck £300-500 for most of the game, just because of the sheer enjoyment of the awesome game. For those of you who don't know the game (which I'd expect would be just about everyone) I'm going to try and get Simon H to write an official Wiki for the rules, because it's without a doubt the best gambling game i've ever seen.
Not too much non-pokering news this week, except the fact that I'm really missing going out and having the amazing times I had in December. If you guys could all finish your exams quicker, that'd be dandy.
Loves and hugs xxx
Friday, 15 January 2010
Wednesday, 6 January 2010
I love all of you very much
I should start off by apologising yet again for being such a terrible blogger, I do appreciate that you guys take an active interest in what I do and I shall try and post more (and hopefully more interesting things).
The first and most important thing I should get into is that I made the top 200 of the Pokerstars December tournament leader board, meaning I won a seat into a very juicy freeroll with 5, 3 and 2 stamp passports as top three prizes (as well as cash prizes for 4-18 as well). For the non poker literate of you (and the cash game players), a Passport is essentially entry to the number of Pokerstars sponsored live tournaments that the 'stamp' is equivalent to. A 5 stamp is worth roughly 70k, a 3 stamp 42k and a 2 stamp 28k. I suppose the hard part is already done, as December was a very sick grind. Now all I need to do is win a tournament with 200 of the best players in the world, just looking at the Lobby with all the players registered, its choc-a-block with superstars (and D1rtyR1v3r lol). I suppose I should also give a huge shout out and well done to Aprilsfool, who at the start of 2009 I was grinding Hyper Turbos with, who put in a monster grind in the second half of the year to win the Yearly TLB and take down a 6 Stamp for himself. Well done kiddo, you're a sicko.
Part of the reason I've been such a terrible blogger is that my birthday, Christmas and New years were 11 days apart, so aside from the insane grind I spent a long time getting heavily intoxicated. I really enjoyed my birthday celebrations in the bridge with all of my lovely friends, followed by a quiet family Christmas in Watford, then an awesome night out with Lizzie in Brighton with her uni friends. Part of the beginnings of the new year is remembering how awesome you have it, and how much you complain about everything because you have a stressful job. This holiday period I really remembered how amazing my friends and family are, and how nothing would really be worth it without them.
To the future! The short term goals are mostly poker related. I've set myself the task of 10k VPP/month for every month this year, which is fairly easy if I dedicate myself. In fact, Ken and I have a $500 failure-to-grind penalty for each month, so I'll have to make sure I'm as dedicated as I know I can be. I've started off January by playing MTT Sit and Goes, mostly the $12/180 mans and whatever $36/180s that run. Two days in and the grind is firmly on, and I'm actually enjoying myself (something must be wrong?!) My current stats look something like this;
All very pleasing so far, but I'll admit that I did win a $36/180 about an hour ago for $1700, so my stats would look much more soul-crushing without that. My other goal is Vegas related, which I'm about 90% sure I'm going to do. All I need to do now is take the plunge and actually buy the plane ticket.
My non poker goals seem to be going well too. Firstly, I want to swim 3 times a week. Since I've swum both yesterday and today, I'm one day away from freerolling the rest of the week. I'm not sure how long this will last, but we can't keep all our resolutions can we? The second is to be up and awake by 11AM each day. I've decided to keep this one quite lax, since I should probably be allowed a lay-in if I go deep in a tournament, or stay up to watch the playoffs that start on Saturday (which I am STOKED about by the way).
Aside from being a boring online geek, I managed to sample some fine live poker already, road tripping up to Nottingham on Saturday/Sunday for Dusk Till Dawn's monthly £300 with Dave, Phil, Ric and Luc. Although I only lasted until level 3 of the tournament, I had a few decent cash game sessions and ended a small winner for the weekend (although I did remember how much I hate full ring cash holdem). I do really love the venue and will certainly be heading up next month for the same tournament, hopefully it can sort out it's financial problems and stay afloat because it really is the center of live poker in the UK.
Sorry for the long ramble this week, but I had a lot to say.
Loves and hugs xxx
The first and most important thing I should get into is that I made the top 200 of the Pokerstars December tournament leader board, meaning I won a seat into a very juicy freeroll with 5, 3 and 2 stamp passports as top three prizes (as well as cash prizes for 4-18 as well). For the non poker literate of you (and the cash game players), a Passport is essentially entry to the number of Pokerstars sponsored live tournaments that the 'stamp' is equivalent to. A 5 stamp is worth roughly 70k, a 3 stamp 42k and a 2 stamp 28k. I suppose the hard part is already done, as December was a very sick grind. Now all I need to do is win a tournament with 200 of the best players in the world, just looking at the Lobby with all the players registered, its choc-a-block with superstars (and D1rtyR1v3r lol). I suppose I should also give a huge shout out and well done to Aprilsfool, who at the start of 2009 I was grinding Hyper Turbos with, who put in a monster grind in the second half of the year to win the Yearly TLB and take down a 6 Stamp for himself. Well done kiddo, you're a sicko.
Part of the reason I've been such a terrible blogger is that my birthday, Christmas and New years were 11 days apart, so aside from the insane grind I spent a long time getting heavily intoxicated. I really enjoyed my birthday celebrations in the bridge with all of my lovely friends, followed by a quiet family Christmas in Watford, then an awesome night out with Lizzie in Brighton with her uni friends. Part of the beginnings of the new year is remembering how awesome you have it, and how much you complain about everything because you have a stressful job. This holiday period I really remembered how amazing my friends and family are, and how nothing would really be worth it without them.
To the future! The short term goals are mostly poker related. I've set myself the task of 10k VPP/month for every month this year, which is fairly easy if I dedicate myself. In fact, Ken and I have a $500 failure-to-grind penalty for each month, so I'll have to make sure I'm as dedicated as I know I can be. I've started off January by playing MTT Sit and Goes, mostly the $12/180 mans and whatever $36/180s that run. Two days in and the grind is firmly on, and I'm actually enjoying myself (something must be wrong?!) My current stats look something like this;
$12/180s; 338
$38/180s; 35
$60/90s; 2
About 25 MTTs ranging from $11 to $55
net; +$1045
2349.41 VPPs
8222.93 FPPs
All very pleasing so far, but I'll admit that I did win a $36/180 about an hour ago for $1700, so my stats would look much more soul-crushing without that. My other goal is Vegas related, which I'm about 90% sure I'm going to do. All I need to do now is take the plunge and actually buy the plane ticket.
My non poker goals seem to be going well too. Firstly, I want to swim 3 times a week. Since I've swum both yesterday and today, I'm one day away from freerolling the rest of the week. I'm not sure how long this will last, but we can't keep all our resolutions can we? The second is to be up and awake by 11AM each day. I've decided to keep this one quite lax, since I should probably be allowed a lay-in if I go deep in a tournament, or stay up to watch the playoffs that start on Saturday (which I am STOKED about by the way).
Aside from being a boring online geek, I managed to sample some fine live poker already, road tripping up to Nottingham on Saturday/Sunday for Dusk Till Dawn's monthly £300 with Dave, Phil, Ric and Luc. Although I only lasted until level 3 of the tournament, I had a few decent cash game sessions and ended a small winner for the weekend (although I did remember how much I hate full ring cash holdem). I do really love the venue and will certainly be heading up next month for the same tournament, hopefully it can sort out it's financial problems and stay afloat because it really is the center of live poker in the UK.
Sorry for the long ramble this week, but I had a lot to say.
Loves and hugs xxx
Monday, 14 December 2009
Getting my December grind on
Ah! Another weekend of tournament poker in the books and shock horror, I somehow booked a winner winning both the $22 6max (for $2k) and the $27.50 360 cap (for 1.7k). Obviously not the big scores I'm looking for, but it certainly feels good to win two tourneys. I also made another deep run in the million last night, eventually finishing 250th or something. I'm afraid there's no interested hand history for this one, simply lost AK to QQ for all of the cheese. Despite 2 deep runs in majors in consecutive weeks, I'm brimming with confidence and feel that the big score is just around the corner.
For those of you who are not poker players, or just not tournament players, Stars is doing a really sick promotion for the December Tournament Leader Board (http://www.pokerstars.com/poker/promotions/passport/december/?utm_id=6), which in a nutshell means that if you finish in the top200 at the end of the month, you win a ticket to freeroll with 3 Stars Passports and cash prizes are up for grabs. I currently am sitting in 236th place with 3633 points. I figure if I max out on 12/180s for the rest of the month I should be close to a lock for top 200, but just to make sure, i'm going to play a ton of big field tournaments over the next few weeks just in case. Don't be surprised to see me playing a load of $1 freezeouts!
I suppose that's about it, I'd like to give a very loving shout out to Marty who is celebrating his 21st in Tally today, I wish I could be there to get wrecked with you sir. As for my birthday, obviously anyone who is around Cambridge next Monday is more than welcome to join, just hit me up on facebook/aim/skype for details.
Love you all
xx
For those of you who are not poker players, or just not tournament players, Stars is doing a really sick promotion for the December Tournament Leader Board (http://www.pokerstars.com/poker/promotions/passport/december/?utm_id=6), which in a nutshell means that if you finish in the top200 at the end of the month, you win a ticket to freeroll with 3 Stars Passports and cash prizes are up for grabs. I currently am sitting in 236th place with 3633 points. I figure if I max out on 12/180s for the rest of the month I should be close to a lock for top 200, but just to make sure, i'm going to play a ton of big field tournaments over the next few weeks just in case. Don't be surprised to see me playing a load of $1 freezeouts!
I suppose that's about it, I'd like to give a very loving shout out to Marty who is celebrating his 21st in Tally today, I wish I could be there to get wrecked with you sir. As for my birthday, obviously anyone who is around Cambridge next Monday is more than welcome to join, just hit me up on facebook/aim/skype for details.
Love you all
xx
Saturday, 12 December 2009
The morning after the night before
Yesterday was a messy one, just like the last time I went out with Ed and ended up with a huge cut on my gum from trying to drink out of a smashed Corona bottle (that really impressed the girls we were talking to) before getting kicked out of a cab for chundering. Last night was the 'GOSCARS' and as per usual it was just an excuse for everyone; especially me, Ed, Sam, Nico and India to get absolutely hammered. For those of you who aren't aware, the Goscars evening is the annual award ceremony for performances at the Gutshot, followed by a fun £50 KO tourney. All seemingly nice and fun, well that was until Ed and I came up with the idea of 'the tournament poker drinking game'. The rules are simple, all the players in the game have their chip counts taken at the end of each level and the player with the fewest chips has to buy the round of everyone else (the tournament had 15 minute levels by the way). There was an extra added bonus that if you busted out, upon leaving the game you buy a round of shots too. Despite never having to buy a round and lasting longest in the tourney, India was the first to go for a TC (tactical chunder), and I certainly wasn't far behind.
Apparently the tournament poker drinking game wasn't quite enough and Ed and I (who were tablemates) started on the double vodka/cokes and also managed to sink a few sporadic shots of Samuel Buca with Dhaam, JJ and Barry.
After I busted the tourney at about 11:45; which coincidentally was the last point I remember knowing the time, I went to the bar with Ed and Lou-Lou and as far as I can tell, in mid conversation with Ed, simply stopped talking and walked outside for my first TC. The wall to the side of the club was my first victim, swiftly followed by me trying to walk to old street underground only to stop 20 meters down the road to settle for about 10 minutes (this is where Phil saw me 'laying in my own pool of vomit').
As I slowly stumbled on, my next resting place was waiting for a tube to Euston, where I expertly found a good hiding spot to throw up in (especially sorry for whoever have to clean that one up) and I think some poor girl even came up to me and asked if I needed any help; to which I very politely declined. I managed to hold everything in when I was actually on the tube (which I think took almost all of my tactical knowhow), and the next place I remember being after that was Euston station toilets which funnily was the first time of the night I actually managed to throw up in a toilet or sink all night. After that I stumbled on the last train home and parked myself in the train toilet for the 20 minute journey to Watford; no prizes for guessing what I got up to. All in all, having left the club at 11:45, it took me well over 90 minutes to make the 7 minute journey from the club to Euston, and there are several things that are currently unexplained-like why I have a fairly deep cut on my thumb and bruises all over my body-that I'm sure will come to me in time. When I got to Watford, I stumbled home, threw up once more in my toilet before falling happily asleep in front of Eddie Izzard.
All in all, thanks very much to Barry for putting on such a fun evening, I look forward to making an even bigger dick out of myself next year.
Other than last night it had been a fairly quiet week. I had an awesome time out with Lizzie and Sarah on Monday, having dinner and predrinking and Sarah's before going to some club in Soho. I also managed to put in a winning live session on Wednesday to the tune of about £750. Im looking forward to putting in some MTT volume this weekend, hopefully that 6 figure score is around the corner.
Love and hugs to you all
xx
Apparently the tournament poker drinking game wasn't quite enough and Ed and I (who were tablemates) started on the double vodka/cokes and also managed to sink a few sporadic shots of Samuel Buca with Dhaam, JJ and Barry.
After I busted the tourney at about 11:45; which coincidentally was the last point I remember knowing the time, I went to the bar with Ed and Lou-Lou and as far as I can tell, in mid conversation with Ed, simply stopped talking and walked outside for my first TC. The wall to the side of the club was my first victim, swiftly followed by me trying to walk to old street underground only to stop 20 meters down the road to settle for about 10 minutes (this is where Phil saw me 'laying in my own pool of vomit').
As I slowly stumbled on, my next resting place was waiting for a tube to Euston, where I expertly found a good hiding spot to throw up in (especially sorry for whoever have to clean that one up) and I think some poor girl even came up to me and asked if I needed any help; to which I very politely declined. I managed to hold everything in when I was actually on the tube (which I think took almost all of my tactical knowhow), and the next place I remember being after that was Euston station toilets which funnily was the first time of the night I actually managed to throw up in a toilet or sink all night. After that I stumbled on the last train home and parked myself in the train toilet for the 20 minute journey to Watford; no prizes for guessing what I got up to. All in all, having left the club at 11:45, it took me well over 90 minutes to make the 7 minute journey from the club to Euston, and there are several things that are currently unexplained-like why I have a fairly deep cut on my thumb and bruises all over my body-that I'm sure will come to me in time. When I got to Watford, I stumbled home, threw up once more in my toilet before falling happily asleep in front of Eddie Izzard.
All in all, thanks very much to Barry for putting on such a fun evening, I look forward to making an even bigger dick out of myself next year.
Other than last night it had been a fairly quiet week. I had an awesome time out with Lizzie and Sarah on Monday, having dinner and predrinking and Sarah's before going to some club in Soho. I also managed to put in a winning live session on Wednesday to the tune of about £750. Im looking forward to putting in some MTT volume this weekend, hopefully that 6 figure score is around the corner.
Love and hugs to you all
xx
Monday, 7 December 2009
Soul crushing weekend, but certainly taking positives
I'm blogging at 3:50 GMT, which means I've abandoned hope of Favre and his Vikings making a comeback and giving me 5 correct Sunday Night Football picks in a row, I suppose the run had to end at some point. I've also drunk quite a lot of beer in the last 90 minutes so forgive me if my blog isn't up to it's usual grammatical standards.
Basically this weekend reminded me why I quit playing tournament poker for a living and moved towards cash games, on each day I had a sick deep run in two huge field tournaments; on Saturday the $11/30 Guaranteed (with 6000 players) and on Sunday the $215 Sunday Warmup (with 4700 players) coming 18th and 25th respectively. Although retrospectively I can't really fault the way I played it's is extremely hard to go so deep in these tournaments and live with winning a few buyins.
Saturday's deep run was a bit of a joke (as you'd expect with such a low buyin), as the chipleader was a complete maniac (and not the good kind), the first spot I realised this was when he 3b/called my 30bb shove with 35 left HJ vs btn with K9s (and luckily my 77 held) but my AQo was not so lucky vs his K6s when I r/shipped UTG vs UTG+1 with 18 left 50bb deep. Having such a novice in the tournament really creates a strange dynamic, and I thought AQo was basically good to go with considering he'd 3b 7/8 of my opens since he'd been on my left and there was a decent chance I was at least a 70% favourite (with a small chance he may fold).
The Warm Up was effectively decided by one; what I think is a very marginal spot with JJ in MP2;
Poker Stars $200+$15 No Limit Hold'em Tournament - t20000/t40000 Blinds + t4000 - 8 players
The Official 2+2 Hand Converter Powered By DeucesCracked.com
BB: t1553562 M = 16.89
UTG: t1105280 M = 12.01
UTG+1: t769303 M = 8.36
MP1: t1717114 M = 18.66
Hero (MP2): t1761736 M = 19.15
CO: t701846 M = 7.63
BTN: t1523630 M = 16.56
SB: t1285372 M = 13.97
Pre Flop: (t92000) Hero is MP2 with J J
1 fold, UTG+1 raises to t99779, MP1 raises to t560000, Hero???
I had no specific reads, but the table had been fairly active and there had been a decent amount of 3betting going on (even if most of it was from me and one other player). It's a fairly complicated hand just to 'run' on stove because of the possible side pots and overlays created, but it seems that if MP1 is raising a hand he's willing to go with for 19bb but folding all but AK, QQ+ then we're making a decent profit, but if he's not 3betting much more than AK and QQ+ then it's kind of spewy. Retrospectively it seems to be somewhere exactly in the middle of those two, probably folding out AQ (which is awesome) and TT/99 (which is to be expected). It still seems really close and i'll run the numbers properly tomrorow.
Despite the feeling of shock directly after busting both tourneys, I'm feeling pretty awesome now. I've made money in the last month or so away from tourneys so it seems that every time I get deep in a tournament it's some kind of a bonus. I'm really happy I decided to focus on cash games, and as well as improving my game it's generally just made me a happier person.
I'm thinking I'm going to put a ton of cash game volume in over the next few weeks, up until my birthday weekend, where I'll go out with my family on the Saturday, maybe play MTTs on the sunday and hopefully do something in Cambridge on the monday. I love you all lots for following my blog and the constant support you all give me.
Loves and hugs xx
Basically this weekend reminded me why I quit playing tournament poker for a living and moved towards cash games, on each day I had a sick deep run in two huge field tournaments; on Saturday the $11/30 Guaranteed (with 6000 players) and on Sunday the $215 Sunday Warmup (with 4700 players) coming 18th and 25th respectively. Although retrospectively I can't really fault the way I played it's is extremely hard to go so deep in these tournaments and live with winning a few buyins.
Saturday's deep run was a bit of a joke (as you'd expect with such a low buyin), as the chipleader was a complete maniac (and not the good kind), the first spot I realised this was when he 3b/called my 30bb shove with 35 left HJ vs btn with K9s (and luckily my 77 held) but my AQo was not so lucky vs his K6s when I r/shipped UTG vs UTG+1 with 18 left 50bb deep. Having such a novice in the tournament really creates a strange dynamic, and I thought AQo was basically good to go with considering he'd 3b 7/8 of my opens since he'd been on my left and there was a decent chance I was at least a 70% favourite (with a small chance he may fold).
The Warm Up was effectively decided by one; what I think is a very marginal spot with JJ in MP2;
Poker Stars $200+$15 No Limit Hold'em Tournament - t20000/t40000 Blinds + t4000 - 8 players
The Official 2+2 Hand Converter Powered By DeucesCracked.com
BB: t1553562 M = 16.89
UTG: t1105280 M = 12.01
UTG+1: t769303 M = 8.36
MP1: t1717114 M = 18.66
Hero (MP2): t1761736 M = 19.15
CO: t701846 M = 7.63
BTN: t1523630 M = 16.56
SB: t1285372 M = 13.97
Pre Flop: (t92000) Hero is MP2 with J J
1 fold, UTG+1 raises to t99779, MP1 raises to t560000, Hero???
I had no specific reads, but the table had been fairly active and there had been a decent amount of 3betting going on (even if most of it was from me and one other player). It's a fairly complicated hand just to 'run' on stove because of the possible side pots and overlays created, but it seems that if MP1 is raising a hand he's willing to go with for 19bb but folding all but AK, QQ+ then we're making a decent profit, but if he's not 3betting much more than AK and QQ+ then it's kind of spewy. Retrospectively it seems to be somewhere exactly in the middle of those two, probably folding out AQ (which is awesome) and TT/99 (which is to be expected). It still seems really close and i'll run the numbers properly tomrorow.
Despite the feeling of shock directly after busting both tourneys, I'm feeling pretty awesome now. I've made money in the last month or so away from tourneys so it seems that every time I get deep in a tournament it's some kind of a bonus. I'm really happy I decided to focus on cash games, and as well as improving my game it's generally just made me a happier person.
I'm thinking I'm going to put a ton of cash game volume in over the next few weeks, up until my birthday weekend, where I'll go out with my family on the Saturday, maybe play MTTs on the sunday and hopefully do something in Cambridge on the monday. I love you all lots for following my blog and the constant support you all give me.
Loves and hugs xx
Saturday, 5 December 2009
Live heaters, Parties...oh yeah and one of the greatest bands of the decade
Well it's been an interesting week to say the very least. Just over a week ago I essentially had a bit of a whine about not running well in November and apparently that's all I needed to give me a kick up the backside, actually play some hands and start making money. As well as being up 25 buyins in 7k hands online, I managed to come 5th in the £300 freezeout at the international on Saturday, and have two very profitable live 1/2 Omaha sessions where I really felt I was playing close to my A-game (as well as obviously running hotter than Usain Bolt).
Aside from poker I went to Nel's 21st Birthday shindig on Wednesday which apart from being the best girl-to-guy ratio I've ever seen (about 40 girls; most of whom were very attractive, to 4 guys; with me being the only one for about 2 hours) it was also generally a really fun night in which I made some new friends and happily drunk until I had to stumble on the last train home.
On my way home I just happened to get a text from Charlie T to the tune of, 'Joejoe, I happen to have 2 guest passes to go and see a Doves set in Leicester square tomorrow', to which I responded with an appropriate 'hell yeahz'. The venue itself; a small Church in Soho was quite strange but the band certainly didn't disappoint. The set was rather short but very enjoyable and I can tick one extra band of my 'top ten bands to see before they break up' (Blur and U2 still topping that last at the moment).
One funny situation I got myself in this week was being told to quit my job by a complete stranger. Well actually that one happens on something close to a daily basis but the strange part about this one is that I didn't even mention the fact that I play poker for a living. The Chinese Herbal medicine woman who I sought advice on how to cure my insomnia from was so distraught that I thought it was an early night to be getting to bed at 5am that she advised that I quit my job immediately. I thought her head may have exploded if I had told her I gamble for thousands of pounds each day.
Despite having a what is essentially a +£5k week playing live, I'm still pretty over live poker. I'd probably make the trip into London for an especially juicy live 1/2 Omaha game (perhaps when Wayra returns to London), but the prospect of sitting at a poker table all night playing 20 hands an hour really doesn't appeal to me (especially as i'm not getting as many FPPs as I do on stars).
Hears to hoping all you beautiful people had as much fun this week as I did
Later taters
xxx
Aside from poker I went to Nel's 21st Birthday shindig on Wednesday which apart from being the best girl-to-guy ratio I've ever seen (about 40 girls; most of whom were very attractive, to 4 guys; with me being the only one for about 2 hours) it was also generally a really fun night in which I made some new friends and happily drunk until I had to stumble on the last train home.
On my way home I just happened to get a text from Charlie T to the tune of, 'Joejoe, I happen to have 2 guest passes to go and see a Doves set in Leicester square tomorrow', to which I responded with an appropriate 'hell yeahz'. The venue itself; a small Church in Soho was quite strange but the band certainly didn't disappoint. The set was rather short but very enjoyable and I can tick one extra band of my 'top ten bands to see before they break up' (Blur and U2 still topping that last at the moment).
One funny situation I got myself in this week was being told to quit my job by a complete stranger. Well actually that one happens on something close to a daily basis but the strange part about this one is that I didn't even mention the fact that I play poker for a living. The Chinese Herbal medicine woman who I sought advice on how to cure my insomnia from was so distraught that I thought it was an early night to be getting to bed at 5am that she advised that I quit my job immediately. I thought her head may have exploded if I had told her I gamble for thousands of pounds each day.
Despite having a what is essentially a +£5k week playing live, I'm still pretty over live poker. I'd probably make the trip into London for an especially juicy live 1/2 Omaha game (perhaps when Wayra returns to London), but the prospect of sitting at a poker table all night playing 20 hands an hour really doesn't appeal to me (especially as i'm not getting as many FPPs as I do on stars).
Hears to hoping all you beautiful people had as much fun this week as I did
Later taters
xxx
Thursday, 26 November 2009
Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most
Well that's it, I feel I've crossed the threshold into actual madness. The idea of winning money at poker for a sustainable period of time just seems a foreign concept right now. I'm aware that I don't do myself any favours by choosing games that are so high variance (traditionally turbo MTTs and now 6max and heads up PLO), but eventually the mental strain of the long losing streaks just tear your mind apart. Since the middle of October i'm winning something of the tune of $1600 (and that's including an $800 supernova milestone bonus). Considering the amount of time and effort I've put in during this period, it equates somewhere close to flipping burgers. Worst of all, I've begun severely doubting myself in terms of both raw talent and my ability to concentrate and play my A game for long periods of time. It seems that those are attributes aren't just something a player can work on, but is something someone is stuck with. I'm going to have a real think about how able I am to actually win enough at poker to sustain myself in the manner i've grown accustomed to.
As well as doubting myself, it's just about put out the faint flicker of enjoyment I once had for poker. I suppose the thing that most people don't understand about me is that doing anything that I can't defend as 100% perfect is nothing but a failure in my eyes and I end up beating myself up over plays that will still arguably make me money if in hindsight I can anticipate better lines. The only thing that still drives me to play poker is firstly my desire to be the absolute best version of me, and secondly my huge ego which won't allow me to stop playing before I'm rich enough and have accomplished enough to consider all this time a success.
Hopefully the second paragraph makes how tough this last month has been easier to understand; it's like every time I load up pokerstars I'm losing be it making the right play and getting unlucky or making bad choices and still losing.
It seems that right now there isn't much I can do but bite the bullet and keep grinding hard. I'm probably going to play the monthly £300 at the international on Saturday, then I'm going to have to put in a ton of volume in December and try and stop the rut.
Sorry for all the non poker players that read this, I love you all very much but this has been the major highlight of the last month (the only highlight in reality). Next time I blog i'll have something non-pokery to say.
Loves and hugs xx
As well as doubting myself, it's just about put out the faint flicker of enjoyment I once had for poker. I suppose the thing that most people don't understand about me is that doing anything that I can't defend as 100% perfect is nothing but a failure in my eyes and I end up beating myself up over plays that will still arguably make me money if in hindsight I can anticipate better lines. The only thing that still drives me to play poker is firstly my desire to be the absolute best version of me, and secondly my huge ego which won't allow me to stop playing before I'm rich enough and have accomplished enough to consider all this time a success.
Hopefully the second paragraph makes how tough this last month has been easier to understand; it's like every time I load up pokerstars I'm losing be it making the right play and getting unlucky or making bad choices and still losing.
It seems that right now there isn't much I can do but bite the bullet and keep grinding hard. I'm probably going to play the monthly £300 at the international on Saturday, then I'm going to have to put in a ton of volume in December and try and stop the rut.
Sorry for all the non poker players that read this, I love you all very much but this has been the major highlight of the last month (the only highlight in reality). Next time I blog i'll have something non-pokery to say.
Loves and hugs xx
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